Inquiry is not enough

This has been one of the craziest years I have ever had. I have met a lot of people, got to know their names, had a little conversation, drank a lot of booze, and probably caused a little bit of misunderstanding for a few. I had all these thoughts running at 5am but decided to sleep on it instead of getting my laptop to jot down everything. Now, why is inquiry not enough?

I have been working in the audit for about two years and three months now, but because of the time I spent working, it actually feels like five years. Since I was newly hired, my seniors always told me, inquiry is not enough. You see in audit, we ask a lot of questions about how things happen or what is going on in the Company, etc. As you read this, you will find out that this is not all about work. Anyway, answered questions are not enough, we need to gather documents to support the statements of whoever we interviewed, or else anything they say cannot be used for us to obtain reasonable assurance.

Assurance. Everybody nowadays want this, assurance. Of course in audit, our goal is to provide reasonable assurance that the account being audited is free from material misstatement whether due to fraud or error. That is the case in external audit, which is the current career path I am walking on. While for my friends who found another path to trudge in internal audit, they need to provide absolute assurance.

In audit, we have what we call a certificate of independence, engagement letter, client acceptance form, engagement acceptance form, independence questionnaire, and time budget. We call these documents pre-engagement documents. These documents are necessary before starting an engagement or “auditor-client” relationship. When these are all signed and approve, the work of the auditor begins. But everything has to go through a lot of process and review, before such documents are signed. Once signed, everyone whose name and signature appears on the said documents shall become liable.

Long term friends believe the fact that I never had a boyfriend since birth. While those whom I have just met would often believe it as a lie. I cannot blame them, there were no supporting documents to support my statement. Besides, upon initial physical verification, no one would actually believe the fact that I never had a boyfriend. It does not follow that once you have never been in any romantic relationship, you are also inexperienced. I dated, flirted, kissed, made out with random guys. Some friends of friends, some strangers, whose names I might have forgotten already. There were times when I actually enjoyed doing it since it was fun, but never lasting.  I am twenty-five already, working, licensed, earning, can go on vacations alone, and I think, this could be probably the right time for me to start getting serious, slow down on changing prospects often and take time to know them well.

I am going to tell you a story about my friend. Macy is her name. He met a guy at a party. She got drunk and the guy took care of her. The guy also asked for her number, added her on Facebook, followed her on IG, and invited her on his birthday. Just two days after she met the guy, she would already rant at me, “He’s online, but he’s not sending me pms”, “He liked/viewed my IG story”, etc. This is a typical reaction of any girl. I went through the same kind of situation and I understand what she’s going through. A week passed and they’re still not talking regularly. I accompanied Macy on Dio’s (the guy) birthday. I felt like I was the ultimate stranger in the party, since I was just my friend’s plus one because all of her med friends ditched her, except Diana. The party was great, lots of booze, different kinds of people, got into a small fight with the girl who liked Dio, and the rest was history, well, for me that is. I left the place earlier than Macy, I left her behind, since she didn’t want to go home yet. I smiled when she answered that it was alright for me to leave her and that she’ll go home later. So I left.

Macy is my friend since high school. Pretty, dresses well, taller than average, smart, sings and dances well, loud and outspoken, and takes up Medicine at Beda, believe me, there is nothing wrong with her. People would often wonder why she is still single. Dio, graduated Industrial Engineering at Benilde, same age with Macy, 26, and manages his own furniture business. After the party, Macy would still tell me the same lines. Ask me why doesn’t he do anything more than the usual. All I could say is that, just take what he does as it is, no more, no less.

Macy had been in only one relationship ever since. Dio maybe once too, I heard. Macy doesn’t want to waste her time on people that don’t even plan on staying in her life. I understand her predicaments completely. I have the same thoughts as her. But men, I don’t know. All I know is that they think simple, and if they don’t do anything concrete, then it’s nothing.

Relationships are too complicated. I have been living my life, thinking that I’m not made for engaging in romantic relationships with men. I played around, trying things out of curiosity, without being responsible for anyone else’s feelings. If I did wrong, I acknowledge it, but never show up again. Easy way out isn’t it? I wish that relationships should be like in external audit. But it’s not.

The certificate of independence (COI) is sent out to everyone in the firm whenever there is a prospect client. Just to make sure that there will be no conflict of interest. In life though, there is no such thing as COI. You meet prospect girlfriends or boyfriends and you won’t get any reasonable assurance that there will be no conflict of interest involved. Why? Things like this come out of nowhere, then leave you hanging. Kidding. Some hanging, some happy. Whatever the case maybe, the fact still remains that there is no COI.

In life, when a new character comes and introduces himself in your life, there is no client acceptance form. There is no questionnaire, where in you have to answer “yes” or “no”, and assess if this person is worth accepting in your life. They just come and leave on their own. Sometimes I ask myself, why do these people have to come into my life. Most times, these people left already before I got my answer. Believe me, for all those flings that I had, I was hoping, just a little bit, that maybe one of them is different. Up to now, they’re all the same. Joke is on me.

Let us say, you like this new character and gave this meeting another chance, but there is no engagement acceptance. This is all purely consensual. No trail. Just purely out of chance and maybe a little bit of risk, since it is kind of fun anyway. There are guys who seem okay at first meeting, so you give it another chance, another meeting and try to get to know more about him. This could be it, or not.

The time budget is not disclosed. It contains the number of hours you have to complete the audit phases. It also contains the corresponding amount for every hour spent. In life, you do not have this. But I think of it. I do not know if other women do this, but I always assess on how long will this guy lasts upon executing the “engagement acceptance”. Will he be worth my time? Do I have a lot of time to waste? Mostly, personally, if I find the guy is funny and kind, then he is almost got a 50% chance on me.

Now comes the engagement letter (EL). Every condition is laid out there, the responsibilities of both parties, and the audit fee. Since the COI has been executed, both parties are assured that there is no conflict of interest involved. The client signs. The deal is closed. Next comes the independence questionnaire (IQ). In the IQ, the names of the audit team members should be indicated and the corresponding signatures are required. You see, this is very reassuring right? Everything should be documented and signed before the engagement starts. At this level, an assurance has been obtained. There is a signed contract, services will be provided for a fee.

Meanwhile, here I am thinking of doing the same, you know the pre-engagement documents, with the next guy that comes into my life. He will probably think I am a workaholic who only thinks about work and contracts. What is life if you do not take any risks, right? That is what I say, but I have always been playing safe. I might fall for the first week to third week, and completely forget everything on the fourth week. A friend advised me to get a puppy first and take care of it, before getting a boyfriend. He said puppies are cute at first, until they start pooping at your yard and biting other people’s legs, just like men.

I believe that relationships are built on trust. When both parties have an astounding amount of trust for each other, I believe that even the strongest cyclone will not be able to destroy the foundation. Trust is earned overtime, the span of which depends on each individual. It is easier to lose one’s trust than earn it. There has been a lot of betrayal going around that people want reasonable assurance that they are not going to get betrayed again once they start entrusting someone with their hearts. I cannot blame them. Certainly, I am also one of those people who want assurance before anything else. Why waste time on someone who is going to hurt you in the end, right?

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. The reason for whatever it is that Macy and I are going through right now, might be answered tomorrow or in the next 10 years. Honestly, I do not know anymore. I do not know why does history have to keep on repeating itself. I do not know why things have been like this lately, again. I rewind the past events and try to look where did I go wrong again this time. Was it because of the booze? Was it because of something I blurted out of the blue? Was it because I was bored? I am so confused, bothered, and irritated. I feel like running away. I left Iloilo, so, should I leave Manila? If I do, what is next for me? Won’t just keep on doing the same things that I have been doing ever since? I guess the place or people doesn’t matter. It is something that I need to settle within myself. I do not know if I need this, but I want someone to invade my life and turn it upside down, for the better.

Going back to my story earlier, Macy and Dio’s prior relationships crumbled due to betrayal. Now, both are struggling and afraid of falling in love again. Both despises getting hurt again. Whether to entrust their hearts to each other or not is something that only both of them can answer. I told Macy that the next time I meet Dio, I will ask him the questions she had always wanted to ask him. That is of course before drinking alcohol, or else my judgement is going to be impaired. But you know what, even if he answers, inquiry is still not enough.

If it is meant to be, it will be.